We all judge each other, and it is ok.

14 Feb We all judge each other, and it is ok.

You always hear DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS, but I think it is a part of human nature. No matter how subtle, most of the time we judge unconsciously or by intuition. I judge others all the time, and you do, too. You are judging this article right now, and that is okay. From the moment you meet someone, you are judging their clothes, hair, makeup, and so on. You don’t even notice it, but we do it all day long.

 

Judgment is nothing but evaluation of evidence or facts to help us decide. It is that little voice inside our heads that tells us to ask that sweet looking woman for directions instead of that young teenager because you judged him that he wouldn’t know. Or when you decide to not pick the checkout line with the young chatty girl because you assume she will be too slow. We judge or evaluate life experiences, situations, things, opinions, thoughts, and people based on the values, emotions and logic we were taught. As human beings, we are blessed with touch, speech, hearing, taste, smell, common sense (most of us-lol) and intuition. These senses help us to evaluate every person or situation-in other words, judge.

 

Accept your urge to judge, it will help you make good decisions. Assume everyone else judges everyone else (because they do). Ask others to share their judgments of you. Listen with an open heart and mind. Embrace your judgements and be willing to learn from others judgements of you. Every person you meet has something special to give you—that is, if you are open to receiving it.

 

Merriam-Webster defines “judgement” as “An opinion or decision that is based on careful thought. The act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought. The act of judging something or someone. The ability to make good decisions about what should be done.” Many people don’t use the “careful thought” part of the definition and that is where I think good judgement and bad judgement come into play.

 

Judge when it is right to judge, and know how to judge. That’s imperative. There’s a thin line between judgment and ignorance, which leads to injustice. Knowing when to judge is also very important. Discretion and calculation in judgement is strength, for it shows wisdom and maturity. Gossiping, ridiculing, or wanting to cause harm to someone by judging shows only your immaturity and ignorance.

 

People fear being judged because they fear being evaluated. Don’t fear it, instead embrace it! We must recognize that we are all imperfect and it is okay. People are going to judge you regardless of what you are or are not doing, so just do whatever makes you happy. And when you choose to step out and walk into the things you have been called to do, you can and should except judgement. Prepare for it and it will not come as a surprise. We cannot always help what happens to us, but we can help how we react to these things.

 

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

 

My wish for you is to Live Courageously!

 

Mary Beth Iannarella
Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

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1Comment
  • @liveyournow
    Posted at 18:40h, 28 March Reply

    Dear Mary, I felt it important to respond to this post from my position as a mindfulness guide. I can see and understand the point that you are making and why. However (you probably knew that was coming 😉 ) I would always discourage the word “Judge”. A careful use of lexicon when issuing guidance is essential. The word “Gay” used to mean happy, then it was used to describe homosexuality, then it was used (in the UK at least) to describe something crap. Words are our way of generally interacting with each other and they hold meaning and emotions.

    What you are encouraging is critical thinking, thoughtfulness, and constructive criticism (which has served me very well). However, judgement has not. In fact, judgement is something that people with mental health issues for example fight against daily. The part of our minds which leap to judgement is, to my knowledge, the ancient survival parts of the mind – certainly there are times that judgement factor did, and still does serve our survival. But that judging part of the mind fuels the ego. It can form neural pathways that lead to specific, and un-peaceful ways of life for ourselves, and for those around us.

    It can be subtle, invasive, and perpetuate until it becomes ignorance.

    Being judgemental, and being responsive not reactive to situations are essentially juxtaposed.

    So I will respectfully offer a different view. (To the reader) Ask yourself why you are judging others, discourage people from doing so, be more compassionate and understanding of each other, Question where your beliefs came from, do you even know?

    From the work I have done with people, those who are quite harmlessly judgemental of others, find themselves changing their behaviour to near total non-judgement & enjoy a far better, more peaceful life a result – with those around them naturally falling into this more relaxed style of communication/being with each other.

    I just want to reiterate, I do indeed understand the point of the article, and there’s much I agree with, and I thank you for sharing it so I can elucidate and share my own experiences of helping others – and indeed the kind and encouraging sentiments behind it.

    To everyone’s best life, always
    Richie

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