09 Feb my wish to wash the pain away
i really want make the best out of my life but sometimes, things stay in my way. It makes me hard to even breathe. I understand that things happen for a reason and it happens for our own good but today, right now. i feel extremely exhausted. im tired of crying myself to sleep, im tired of having to comforts myself over and over. so here i am, looking some other way to make me feel a little bit better. i wish i dont get attached to people easily so that i will not get hurt easily whenever they leave me on purpose. i wish i love myself enough that will make me think “i dont need any man to make me feel loved, bcs i know my worth” my life would be better if i am not insecure and have low self-esteem. i wish i have a job too. so that i will have my own income and i will not ask at my parents. i wish i got a car and i lived near with my close friends. i wish i have a group of cool friends who will always support me and be there for me when i need them. im…tired of living like this. its been months ive been in a house. i didnt go out because i dont have anyone to go out with. im tired of going at the same place over and over, while others they get to experience cool cafe every week. i want to live outside and not just here living infront of the laptop. im sad, i am super sad right now, i can feel my heart tearing but i cant do anything. all i can do is cry. sigh, i wish things changed.