01 Apr Motherhood Can be Really Tough
This pic was taken when Charlie my 3rd child was five months old and at the time I thought I was thinking clearly & rationally where in fact I was chronically exhausted, anxious, barely a glimmer of my true self and trying desperately hard to cling ontothe part of me that felt “normal”. I would cry more of each day than not, was completely unable to cope with the slightest blip and because of that felt an utter failure.
I never experienced such a frightening mix of emotions after my first two babies and who knows exactly what led it to happen after Charlie? Perhaps the stress of a difficult pregnancy, buying and moving house, spending every second of every day with him & then weaning and sleep training him at the same time (one night while he slept happily in his new cot I lay on my bedroom floor weeping really believing this beautiful boy I loved so much didn’t need or want me anymore)…probably a combination of all of these, a healthy dose of ridiculous pressure on myself and an enormous fear of asking for help.
A few things in the end led me to finally, hands shaking ring my public health nurse and ask her to come to my house.
The first step to feeling better.
So what is the point of this post? Well a few things- YES no matter how bad it seems, please cling on it won’t last forever, I’m so much better now – me again- YES there are things we can do to help ourselves, I’m a huge believer in building mental resilience so we can cope with the sh*t that may come our way, gratitude, love, kindness and all of my joy triggers have served me well its what I talk about in my Joy Project workshops, but I also realise that sometimes the sh*t is piled too high to deal with alone & then it is not only ok but absolutely vital to reach out.
We ALL deserve to feel good.