29 Apr Mamas be Kind to Yourselves
My phone is filled with such beautiful photos of my kids and part of me would be happy to only share that side of parenthood but it just wouldn’t be truthful.
Because there aren’t photos of the times I lost my temper & shouted at 2 year old Charlie, of me unwashed & scraggy, of a sink filled with dishes, towels on the floor of the bathroom, of the days when I can’t stop crying and want to run away and there are no photos of the guilt that seems to linger permanently. Guilt that sometimes descends and consumes me completely – guilt because I shouted at Charlie, guilt because Jess & Leon saw me cry, guilt because Josh screamed for milk while I changed Charlie’s nappy, guilt for handing out instant noodles for lunch, guilt for wishing they’d all be asleep in bed & then missing them all when they are, guilt for not being happy with my body, guilt for not simply being grateful for the fact that they are all healthy. Guilt for not being good enough to reach the exceptionally high standards I set for myself.
So while I will share the beautiful photos and joyous moments I’ll share the shit too, because it seems to me motherhood is a mix of both the amazing & the awful. It’s beautiful yet it’s brutal 💙💙💙 & no one does it perfectly.
Follow my ups & downs on Instagram @hannahlillybella