31 Jul Control is an Illusion
We are currently in the process of buying a house, an amazingly positive & brilliant thing for our family after 13 years of renting. But…. an experience that stirs up all my “control freak/fear of change” issues.
Having to remind myself daily that control is only an illusion. We have none.
I’ve learnt that whenever I find myself anxious & upset about how I look, money, the house being messy or even just walking to the shop, it’s never really about those things but my minds way of trying to distract me from the fact I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Focusing on organising external stuff is my minds way of desperately trying to regain control of the situation, the unknown and distract me from the fear of change.
But control doesn’t exist. Life happens to us, it throws all sorts -delights and sorrows- our way without any warning and in fact trying to make sense of it, trying to protect ourselves from uncertainty only moves us further away from joy. The only thing we can control is the person we want to be and how we choose to react to whatever comes our way.
So with the help of some deep breaths(yet again where would I be without the deep breaths!) I’m getting back into the now, trusting that we are always exactly where we are meant to be and going to do my best to jump(excitedly) down the rabbit hole to our new adventure.