03 Jul Be Your Own Best Friend
There are many choices we can make each morning. Choices that play a part in how we will feel during the day. That’s the basis to the Joy Project and the triggers I created, simply ways to trigger “feel good” emotions.
We can choose to be grateful, choose to love, choose to be kind. Choose to stop complaining and stop focusing on the negative. Choose to step outside in the fresh air, to look up at the sky and be amazed by the magnificent world we live in.
But you know what? Some days we feel miserable and don’t want to make any of those positive choices – which is when joy trigger number one becomes the most important of them all.
“Be a Friend to Yourself – Don’t Pressure Yourself to be Perfect – It’s OK if some days don’t go to plan. Life throws unexpected things into the mix and we are all human. When you are ready you can choose to get back on the JOY TRACK!”
A lesson I had to re-learn again this week.
Last week I relaunched and began promoting the Joy Project Facebook group, took up the amazing opportunity to begin writing this weekly blog for the Wish Wall and had decided to start working out again for the first time since baby Charlie was born.
On Tuesday, I was feeling excited about life’s possibilities and super positive about all the good in my life now. On Wednesday, I woke with a sinking sadness in the pit of my stomach and throughout the course of the day it became a “what is the point” numbness.
Spent the day feeling overwhelmed and an absolute failure. How could I promote the Joy Project and what a life changer is if I felt like this? I’d just written a blog about being in the moment and finding the joy in now, didn’t that make me a fraud? How could I talk about loving yourself when I felt uncomfortable in my own post pregnancy skin?
I tried to practise gratitude but got a headache. It made me feel worse, knowing there was so much to be grateful for, knowing there were so many people worse off it seemed to just magnify what a loser I was to be moping about. I cried, but tears didn’t bring any relief. Even Charlie’s baby smiles & gurgles couldn’t lift me out of it. Note to self – add bad Mother to my list of self-criticisms.
This day had been brewing. Brewing because of the joy project relaunch and the Wish Wall blog. The stress grew, along with the high expectations I was placing on myself. “ridiculous pressure” mode had snuck in and turned itself on.
When this happens, I relieve the burden by writing. Not just writing but sharing with others on Instagram, the Facebook group, this blog.
To share honestly how I’m feeling and admit that I’m not always this upbeat, positive example of how to live a perfect joy filled life can be hard. To allow myself these feelings and be brave enough to be vulnerable requires me being a friend to me. To speak to myself the way I would to others. Say, “it’s ok, your allowed to have days that don’t go to plan, give yourself a break.”
From the age of at least twelve bad days like this were a regular occurrence that could last weeks. Since including the joy triggers in my life, yes, they still happen but much less often.
Every morning the most important choice we can make is how we are going to treat ourselves. Like a friend or an enemy? Would you speak to others the way you speak to yourself? Are you going to spend every waking moment with someone who cheers you on or puts you down?
Choose to be your friend on this journey called life and although fear, anxiety, depression and tough times may sometimes join you…you’ll be ok… and joy will never be far away.
Join me and the Joy Project community at https://www.facebook.com/hannahlillyjoyproject/ I’ll cheer for you on the days you don’t want to. x
Daily Joy Triggers
1. Be a Friend to You -Don’t Pressure Yourself to be Perfect – It’s OK if some days don’t go to plan. Life throws. unexpected things into the mix and we are all human. When you are ready you can choose to get back on the JOY TRACK!
2. Gratitude -Begin a gratitude list and add 3 things each morning and night that you are grateful for. Seeing and saying thank you for all the good in your life now opens the door for more to come in.
3. Kindness- Be kind to others. Take all opportunities, each day, to show kindness. This could be opening a door, letting a car out in traffic or paying a compliment.
4. Joy Exchange – Avoid negative conversations and say goodbye to habits like gossiping, blaming and complaining. Ask yourself will these thoughts, words or actions have a positive effect on you or others if the answer is no “let them go” -walk away, or find the joy instead.
5. Fresh air –Spend time outside every day (not on your smartphone) – There is something about getting outside that gets you into the moment. A walk, jog or even standing outside your back door and looking up at the sky.
6. Love -Start a list of things that you love and add to it each day – like a gratitude list, things that feel good to think about…perhaps they are in your life now or things you want to bring in. Mine includes baby Charlie’s tiny toes, sparkles, sunshine, blue skies, alien perfume, Audi’s, airports and laughter.
7. Kindness – to YOU. Pay yourself a compliment when you look in the mirror, smile at your reflection. Stop criticising or putting yourself down.
8. Giving – Without expecting to receive. Give time, love, a tip in the coffee shop, donate to charity – it’s up to you.
9. Visualise The Life You Love – Before you sleep at night (or any time you won’t be interrupted) create in your mind the life you want to live and how you want to feel. This is the time for dreaming big, no limits – remember how as a child you knew everything was possible? Everything is possible but first you need to see it…create a vision that makes you excited. If nothing else it puts you to sleep with a smile and that is always a good thing!
10. Your Personal Joy Trigger – Something personal to you that makes you feel good instantly. For me it’s playing a favourite song first thing in the morning (or anytime an instant mood lift is required!) It could be a photograph, a memory, something that instantly fills you with positive energy.